When I was first asked to write a testimonial, I thought "Are you sure?....I'm ready?" The words below were not easy. I had not tried until now to express in brevity, what Bikram means to me. I think there is only one way to start my testimonial, and that is I NEVER knew yoga was exercise and boy, was I wrong! (not an uncommon thing) Until stepping into Bikram Yoga Grapevine, I had never attended a yoga class. In fact, I had barely stretched. I've always been athletic, having a bit of an "all or nothing" complex. Is that a complex? Not at all balanced. Bikram has truly been a challenge, for the mind, body, and spirit. I walk in each day with faith and walk out with confirmation. That's what keeps me coming back. That, and I love to sweat.
The Beginning.
I love how things come into your life, whether for a minute or a lifetime. So when Bikram was introduced to me, I was all over it. I needed a new challenge. I had no idea what I was getting into. At my first class, I could only make it through the warm-up. I remember looking around the room in awe at the "crazies" around me who were actually working their tails off even though they looked beat. Something in me became determined to conquer this exercise - or at least make it through a class standing up. I was determined to have this feel good. So I came back - again and again. I used to systematically break the class down into tiny obstacles. I found my own mental/physical tools to help me cope and own the experience I was having. I strived every day to have the experience, not for the experience to have me. I noticed great changes. I became aware of my need to be responsible for what I fed myself, how much I drank, and how much I slept-really, all in the name of survival in that hot room. The bi-product was awesome - more energy, less craving, stability of mind, my allergies drastically decreased - I could go on and on. Looking back, I always kept a crutch, so to speak. I would excuse not trying certain postures - telling myself "I'm new" "you won't feel good later, if you do that now," - lol.
The Middle (Now..there is no End)
The "crutches" are now gone. For me I needed to stop the excuses and just do it. Bikram has now evolved into a study of self. I've learned that my mind can predicate my experience in the studio. As I have heard many times through our wonderful instructors, I now believe that smiling through the discomfort actually strengthens you during class, it's not just something they say to make you laugh. My goal is now to engage, rather than survive. Engaging, is a tool I now use to maintain focus. Some days, it's all about engaging my abs, or engaging my legs. I also attempt to be engaged in my life, to be more aware, more centered, more present. Just as I saw the changes in my body and mind shift, I now see this in my everyday life. As a sweet example, just this week I went to a movie with my sister. The movie was a mid-week matinee, so the attendees were majority new moms and elderly. It occurred to me that I was somewhere in the middle. Not a new mom - my children are 11,9,and 7, and not yet elderly. I could see at one time where I've been, and where I am headed. The beauty was when the movie was over I was walking behind an elderly woman with whom I had exchanged smiles as she filtered into line in front of me. As she did so, she fell backwards - right into my arms. I was amazed at how wonderfully this situation was orchestrated. It was reflex to extend my arms in response, but I didn't expect the grace and strength I felt as I caught her and returned her upright. She felt light as a feather. No words needed to be exchanged, just gratitude. I am so thankful for the transformative support I have in Bikram and the talented instructors who lead us through this process each day.
Be brave. Even if you're not, pretend to be. No one can tell the difference.
I admire all my fellow yogis. We are ALL brave every day we walk into the studio!
Thank you!!
-Kristy
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